Hit my Head Hard

Did it really take slamming my head onto tiled cement steps inside this 600 year old house to realize the extent of my suffering, obsession and crazy behavior? Almost breaking my hip, ribs, shoulder and cranium has caused me to lay my ass down, take some pain killers, ice my head, breathe deeply through the aches and take a good, long look at the mess of my life. Had I been 'jolted out of denial?'..(quote seems to fit since 'Codependent No More' is the book I happen to have chosen for the duration of that evening). Until I fall asleep in this old bed in Sicily, 7 covers, 2 dogs, cold feet, cozy, alone, in pain..I could continue to wonder..Why was I rushing so fast, so often? What was so fucking important? It's like I'm running from myself...from what? Slow down Julia, it is not worth all this trouble. I ask myself and tell myself but still it takes a perpetual accident to bring me down, to rest, to see clearly with a concussion. Ridiculous, pathetic, sad.....but true.