Hard Times

Hello again. First off, I'd like to apologize for stating to have made a commitment in writing this blog consistently..and not doing exactly that. I am currently swallowing a major shit sandwich that life has handed me and writing in a 'personal adventure' blog has not really been a good idea for me at this time. I could write about my experiences at the moment and I'm sure someone will throw up from the details. I am having hard times and I need to find the strength to make some even harder decisions. If any of you pray, please send one my way. Thank you in advance and I will write again when I get over this hump...I promise. Bye for now.

Crazy Night with the Sicilian Cousins!!!

Ok, so last night my adorable cousin Amedeo, who is made up of sugar, honey, hugs and kisses, put together an evening for some of our cousins at one of our family member's pizzeria here in Palermo. It was insane! First off, the table must have been at least a hundred feet long, every seat had a cousin of mine in it! Each one more enthusiastic and vibrant than the next, I laughed so hard and so long, I almost fell out of my chair. I got to see Luigi..my birthday twin, Roberto, Nadia, Patrizia, Vincenzo, Massimo, Renza, Claudio, Rosaria, and a bunch more. My man is out of town so Manuela, my best(Italian)girlfriend went with me, who is equally as nuts as all of them. They served over 30 pizzas in 30 minutes, it was wonderful and sooooooo good! My choice was gorgonzola (but not the nasty kind), cherry tomatoes and fresh sauce....mmmmmmm!!! I think I'm going to eat my left overs for breakfast, like a good American girl ;)))) I'm the only person here who does left overs, it is not looked upon as lovely or gastronomically correct...Oh well! I hate wasting food, especially this good. My friend ordered one with pesto, parmigiano and mozzarella and my cousin next to me got arugola, tomatoes and prosciutto. These pizzas are flat, simple and absolutely delicious. My cousin Ninetta and her husband Benny have done a fine job with that little place, congratulations guys!
Thank you to Amedeo for planning last night, I think we will make a monthly event out of it considering my clan here is at least 300 deep and this is going to be the best way to see them all. The only problem is the scorching Sicilian sun has finally begun to burn..it's beach season baby and there are a couple of tiny bikinis I'd like to get my booty into, at this rate I'm in trouble!!! Bye for now..going for a run..a long one! Hope you are well ;)

Why are Women Unhappier than Ever in History?

It may help to read the article link I just posted on my facebook page regarding how consumerism, feminism and malignant narcissism had caused women to feel generally unhappier over the last 25 years. Mental illness, such as depression, anxiety and panic disorders have become much more prevalent in women today than in history. The article is eye-opening and the comments are even better. I feel that most of what I read on this article makes sense and stands true for me but there seems to be a serious lack of understanding, let alone mentioning, of the importance of a woman's need for love, support, nurturing, affection, attention, security (not the financial kind), peace of mind and a general sense that someone gives a flying fuck about you..when it comes to our happiness. This can be familial, amicable or romantic..whichever or all three. We need LOVE to be happy and there is a major lack of this substance at home and also in modern countries around the world. The more individualistic a society becomes, the more alone we are..with or without our fucking STUFF we have purchased and consumed. We have our cars, our boobs, our boys, our degrees, our jobs, our fun, our bling, our everything..but where are our families? Our supportive partners? Our REAL friends? Stop buying shit, stop getting sexy and start hugging each other, start eating dinner together and bringing the left-overs to your siblings. Start spending Sundays together and stop watching games. Give a damn about each other again, like when we were kids. Simple but amazing.

Lovely Loreto

I just got back home from a really nice trip to Abruzzo where I visited my father's family. They are from a small town in the mountains called Loreto, near Pescara, a larger city by the Adriatic coast. This is also the town my eldest brother is from. I have always enjoyed visiting there and spending time with my aunts, uncles and cousins. It makes me feel like I understand my roots, heritage, father, self better. Small town folk in Italy, especially this town, have a penchant for generosity, good home cooking and hospitality. I was so comfortable there, I did not want to leave. It was definitely worth the plane, train and bus rides to finally reach them.
Once I had returned to Sicily, my father called to see how my trip was and if his family treated me with respect and warmth. I was happy to tell him yes and he, in turn, was very obviously happy and proud to hear that. I was able to find a moment and place where I felt completely welcome and loved. I can definitely say that when you leave your family and home, the smallest displays of love, affection and nurturing can make the biggest difference in the world. The simplest things seem to be the most important. I realize how much I care about respect, love, sensitivity and kindness toward others. I have a real intolerance for mean people, the older I get..the worse it's getting. I will be making frequent trips to lovely Loreto.

Bad, bad girl ;(

I'm sorry I have been so inconsistent with my blog lately (as if anyone reads it ;). I have actually started to make some new friends here, awesome ones, the sun has been shining, hitting the beach, seeing some relatives..that finally called back, running miles daily..oops, sorry...kilometers I mean..and I've been cooking my Italian-American ass off! Today I took a jaunt down to Vodafone, in Palermo, and recharged the credit for my mini sim card....which, by the way...is a major pain in the culo. Back home one purchases a data plan for Internet and unless you suck at paying bills, you continue to have service. Here you buy credit and when it's up, you are shit outta luck 'til your next visit to a cell provider. Some things here are a straight up racket and I miss how things seem to actually 'work' back home, even if they work too well at the point of imbalance. We need some of this down-home living over there...but we need the fucking Internet and phones to work better over here damn it! Why can't we have both places come together?? Like my little nephew Gabe said to me last year while my parents, his grandparents, were in Italy, he said 'Zia, why can't we put Sicily and California together so I can have everything I love here?' He is the smartest kid I know with the hugest heart, but I guess that would be called New Jersey Gabe!

Osama Death Dilemma

At the moment, I am at a real loss for words, something that does not happen often. I am not in the comfort of my home in the States, watching the American news casts on the potential death of mass assassinator Osama bin Laden. I am in Palermo, watching uncensored news casts that don't exist in our media bubble of bullshit back home. Here the people are questioning this death, the motives, the war, the reactions, the possible counter attacks. I am watching the US celebrate like madmen on TV. On a patriotic, grief stricken note... I too understand this need to relish in the extinguishing of that disgusting person....but on another note, I am saddened by the joy in this murder. I am confused by my own feelings and will probably remain this way on this matter. I am not proud to see the celebration but I understand the need to get even, it is ugly but very real and very human. I know it is easy for me to say that this moment is bittersweet because I did not lose a loved one in this horrendous battle. It took billions of dollars and lives and yet, the satisfaction is not really there.

‎"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Pascal Pilgrimage to Padre Pio in Puglia

Returning home from a 4 day coach trip to San Giovanni Rotonda in Puglia, Italy. This is right around the Achilles tendon of the Italian boot, so to speak..for those of us who aren't geographically savvy. It was a wonderfully spiritual experience to visit the sacred sanctuary of this miraculous Saint. Padre Pio was known for his endlessly bleeding hands which blessed the sick. There have been hundreds of recorded, documented official medical miracles, similar to Saint Bernadette's miracles of Lourdes, France. He was the latest named Saint of our times prior to the canonization of Mother Theresa. In this beautiful town in Puglia, I attended Easter mass at Padre Pio's church among thousands of others. It was really lovely. (Wow, did I just use that word? That is not one of my usuals, I always thought of it as a cute, little old lady word ;)
Well, for the record, I won't be taking anymore coach tours, that is for-fucking-sure (ok...that is one of my usuals ;) My ass hurts, my back hurts, my head hurts from listening to the country folk bitch about EVERYTHING! This is not home sickness, this is straight-up frustration! I would have stayed back but in order to be with my beau, I had to take part in the tour portion of the pilgrimage because he is the tour operator and I love him. The sacrifice of already being away from my family and home, lonely, a little sad, overwhelmed, exhausted and completely at my wit's end was apparently not enough. What we do for love is stupid sometimes because although visiting the shrine and tomb of an incredible soul...I had to endure some serious shit. Did I mention the relentless umbilical cord that can't be cut between an Italian man and his home, his roots, his blood? Or the proverbial tit? It is due time to close this session.
A domani ;)